Madness Combat 65
by classykazmiller25
Summary: When Sanford and Deimos are called to action, what will the results be?


Deimos: Whew, that as close!  
Sanford: Yeah, you got that ri-  
An A.T.P. Engineer enters with a colt revolver, firing two shots. One hits Sanford in the stomach, the other barely missing Deimos' head  
Sanford: Aww, fuck!  
Deimos punches the Engineer twice and takes a away the revolver, pointing it at the Engineer. The Engineer raises his hands in surrender  
Engineer: No, wai-  
Deimos fires two shots at the Engineer anyway, killinf him instantly  
Deimos: Dude, you okay? We gotta go man!  
Sanford: Yeah...I'm fine...Come on dude…let's go!  
Deimos and Sanford move on to the next room.

Inside, are an agent and another A.T.P. Engineer.

Engineer: Wait…who-

Deimos aims and fires the revolver twice, killing the Engineer.

Agent: Come on, let's dance-

Deimos bludgeons the agent to death, as well as 4 more.

Deimos: Oh, hell yeah!

Deimos picks up the fallen Engineer's QBZ-75 and enters the next room, hding behind a nearby crate.

Agent: Hey, did you see tha-

Deimos open fires, killing the agent. Deimos jumps unto the crate, killing another. He jumps down again, killing two more. Deimos drops the Chinese rifle, bludgeoning another agent. Sanford weakly picks up a Mossberg 500. Deimos kills four more agents with a Billy club, looking back at Sanford after.

Sanford: What? I'm not dead yet!

Deimos: Asshole…

Deimos goes into the next room, where two agents were stationed. Deimos skillfully dodged twos shots from a Deagle, chucking his billy club. It hits the agent squarely, sending off the ladder top behind him. Deimos takes a bowie knife from the second agent, bludgeoning him with the hilt, before stabbing a 3rd agent who came up the ladder. Meanwhile, Sanford bandages up his stomach wound and stabs an adrenaline shot into his stomach.

Sanford: Whew, lets fuck shit!

Deimso stabs two more agents as Sanford picks up his shotgun. Deimos also picks up a PM-9. Two agents appear at the bottom of the ladder.

Agent: Hey, where did they-

Sanford jumps on the agent's head, blasting his friend before jumping back off and firing a shell into the first agents chest. Sanford then enters the next room, Deimos following suit. Sanford aims at an agent in the room.

Agent: Who the fu-

Sanford blows away two agents behind him, before bludgeoning him with the empty weapon. Deimos enters, killing the next four agents with his submachine gun. Sanford enters a booth labeled "NVSM Quarter Master." An instructor takes out a colt revolver, but Sanford grabs it. The grunt raises his hands in surrender

NVSM Quarter-Master: Hey man, chill ou-

Sanford kills the Grunt, before grabbing a pair of camouflage-pants. Meanwhile, Deimos shoots two more agents using his PM-9. Sanford grabs an M-203 grenade laucher, tossing it to Deimos. Deimos grins at the sight of the launcher, welcoming two extra grenades and another PM-9 magazine. Sanford's eyes widen as he spots a Bren gun.

Sanford: Oh hell yes, come to papa!

They exit the room, readily equipped.

*Meanwhile*

Jebus Christ enters a room, getting his Halo and the other half of his head. He centers it, before growling in frustration. He plants a note on a wall, which the Auditor zooms in on.

I quit-J

The Auditor also notices Tricky raving at him. The Tyrant increases his agent's skill level significantly, raising their skill levels. We now pan to 3 agents, who experience the upgrades.

Agent: Hey, I feel a lot str-

Deimos bursts in, putting the agent into a headlock. He shoots a nearby agent, but an agent kills his human-shield. He shoots that agent as well, letting his former shield fall to the ground. He kills another agent who enters, whilst two more come in. One flips up a table, but Sanford mows them both down with his machine gun. Another enters, only to suffer the same fate. They move to the next room.

*Meanwhile*

Two agents and an Engineer wait behind a crate, ready to attack. However, as the door opens, Deimos fires a grenade at the trio, blowing them up. Deimos reloads, before entering the room with Sanford at his side. An agent flips up a table, but he is killed by Deimos, with Sanford killing the other two. A cafeteria worker reaches for his M1911A1 Custom, but decides against it.

Cafeteria Grunt: Fuck that, I am not dying for this!

As Sanford and Deimos mow down three sets of double agents, the worker shuts the doors, closing himself in. Sanford reloads as he and Deimos enter the elevator and ride down to the ground floor. Deimos and Sanford cooperatively kill the 14 combatants on the floor, before turning around to the sound of an engine. A truck of enemy soldiers drives up, unloading it's heavily armed payload.

Engineer: You there, stop! Surrender or die!

Deimos: Oh yeah?

Deimos takes out his M-203, aiming it at the truck.

Deimos: Well, you can just .ass!

Engineer: Aw, fu-

Deimos fires the grenade launcher, killing all the soldiers in and outside the truck. They then enter a store called "The Rift."

Store Keeper: Who the fuck?

Sanford, now aware of the Store Keeper, points his Bren Gun at the Grunt's face.

Sanford: Hands up!

Store Keeper- Fuck! Hey man, don't do this, please!

Deimos: Hey San, look at this!

Sanford, cut off guard by his partner's discovery, turns to see a HUGE rack of clothes. The duo begins searching for more "supplies."

Store-Keeper: Wha? Oh…ooookaaay.

The storekeeper, nerves now calm, takes outs a copy of Tom Clancy's Locked On and begins to read.

Eventually, after getting some things together, Deimos wears a visor, vest, and trench coat, whilst Sanford has tea-shades, and a shirt saying "I covered wars, ya know."

Deimos: Hey, your fat ass doesn't look half bad in that!

Sanford: You little shi-

A C4 charge destroys the door, knocking out the storekeeper. Multiple enemy's enter, pointing their weaponry at the duo.

Sanford: I'll fuck up your sorry ass later!

Deimos and Sanford kill the 8 units who enter, before discarding any unnecessary clothing articles and leaving, with Deimos grabbing a Glock 20.

The two enter the next empty room, climbing up a ladder 60 feet into the air. They remove the metal lid, revealing a Heli-Pad. Deimos pulls out his Glock, hugging a large structure on the roof.

Deimos: Okay, on 3! 1, 2-

Deimos and Sanford pop out, opening fire on the unsuspecting soldiers. Deimos takes command of a chopper, with Sanford covering air support. Sanford mows down 6 agents using an M-203 and a Bren gun, dropping the empty weapons. The last agent, holding a scoped M14, fires 4 shots at the chopper, missing Sanford every time. Sanford leans in relief, holding his colt revolver in hand.

Sanford: Fucking A, glad that nightmare's over…

The duo fly away into Nevada's red sunset, where they are safe…for now…

Kill Count: 99

Chracter's: Sanford, Deimos, A.T.P. Engineer, 1337 Agents, Various Grunts, Tricky, The Auditor, Jebus Christ.


End file.
